You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
