she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
