You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get