Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
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I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
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I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?