ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?