Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
