thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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