...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
