If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
