Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
