I wish I could punch you in the face.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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