I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
