Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize