My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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