Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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