whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
