If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
