He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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