I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
