direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
