If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
