The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
