my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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