new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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