what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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