You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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