Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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