marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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