There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
