just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
