she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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