If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
