Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
