The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
