I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize