Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
