God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
