I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize