That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
