The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
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I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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