I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
