youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
