i don't plan on having that self control this summer
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
