He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
