she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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