friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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