..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
where are you?
Hypothermia
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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