i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
