i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
