From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
i think my cat just said my name.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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