i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
no you cant smoke seaweed
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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