You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
