In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
