Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
