I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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