He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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