I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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