i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
