don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
