I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
